I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
