remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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