So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
