my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
