this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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