I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
