FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
