Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
