this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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