a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Please don't give away my fajitas
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
