seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
