So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
