I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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