woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
