I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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