nut hugger
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
