VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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