hell yes lets make some ravioli
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
