not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Houston, we have a blender
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
