Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
