I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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