on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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