So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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