Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
