How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
