this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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