Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
