I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
