I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
