If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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