We won't sleep together?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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