at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
