is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
