I'm laying in your front yard are you home
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
