Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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