i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
it's like iHOP with fire
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
