I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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