we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I could fuck to npr.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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