He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Even my vagina gasped.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
