I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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