I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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