dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
