R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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