Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
