She said her name was "party"
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
