He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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