This is not my ceiling
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
