A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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