We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
