Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
