were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
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