3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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