i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
