whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
barbara walters just said penis...
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
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